The words don't dance in my head anymore,
Instead they remain silenced by the walls I build to keep them safe
How was I to know that in protecting my heart, my joys
I locked them so far away, that I can't reach them.
The memories taunt me...
Words so clear, so alive, they sang with the colours of life.
Moments so pure, that when I looked in the Ocean of words,
My true reflection stared back- scars and laugh lines mapping my life
Now that face is lost behind so may layers of fear and doubts,
Drowned so deep, in this shadow of a life,
A specter of the whole,
To afraid to live, to be honest, to cause ripples.
To speak the truth of who I am...
These words uttered in desperation, lost and singular
Hanging between one breath and the next
Layers and layers of meanings, of needs, of wants
Hidden in simplistic denotations of a virtual whole,
Words laid bare for the world to see.
** This poem is a draft that just came up, as I was trying to write a blog post for today. I have been putting so much importance on writing for the blog, that I have forgotten how to write. I used to write everyday and now the though of writing scares me. In my head and heart, I fear that I am not good enough - Which is really frustrating because I do not write to be good but write because it heals and because I love it.
I never realized how hard it is to rebuild an relationship after you break it.......